Looking Back

A good friend of mine is headed to New York City with her mom in a few months, so I asked my Sis for a few recommendations for them since she lives there. And in doing so, I was reminded of my visit five years ago to see Sis after her move.

I had been to NYC before (for my 10th birthday, actually, and then for a brief weekend trip in 2001), but this was the first time I really explored the city at any length with someone who lived there. It was a whole new experience.

Currently, I take photographs with my SLR camera. But five years ago, I didn't have that camera, so I just shot pictures with my little 3.2 megapixel point-and-shoot.

Until today, I hadn't looked at these pictures in a long time. I'd like to think that I have matured a bit as a "photographer" since then. It's hard for me to think of identifying myself with being an actual photographer; I think I prefer the much less formal "taker of pictures."

At any rate, these photos took me back to a time when I had a lot to learn about photography (I still do, as I don't think you can ever stop learning)...and even more about life.

Upon reflection, I can see that they represent a process, a process that is ever-evolving, where I grow and learn, and then come back to myself a ways down the road and forgive myself for the errors I made and celebrate the achievements.

For example, I love the color in this picture, but as a straight-out-of-camera shot, it leaves a lot to be desired. And such first efforts are not limited just to photography; often such as it is with life. But we make mistakes, take risks, learn from experience and move forward.

I can appreciate the simplicity from which I viewed things, and I try to never forget that, either in my photography or in my life, as it seems that things just get increasingly complex as the years go by. And I think it's important to keep that childlike wonder alive.

I loved these pictures dearly when I took them, and while I still like a few of them, I can see their relative points of merit and demerit, as the case may be, with the experience I have gained over the past few years. I have grown since I took these pictures, and that process of growth reminds me of this poem:

"Comes the Dawn"

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
And learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

-Veronica Shoffstall

Remember to be gentle with yourself...and others.

Love,
Little Miss This and That